Desire's Reflection
by Jeaniexyz
Summary: A 3-parter expanding on 3x21/22 Past Hook/Emma's time together, with a few changes from canon. Emma brings something "precious" back from the past with her (not Marian!) and Emma's first ILY to Hook.
1. Chapter 1

Still not over the finale and this is a tribute to that, with a few deviations. My favorite part was really the Hook/Emma/Past Hook stuff so I thought I'd expand on that. To make it happen though I had to change a few parts. Mainly no Marian, and Past Hook and Emma will obviously spend more time together than what was on the show.

* * *

Hook blinked at the force of Granny's bathroom door slamming a hair's breadth away from his handsome face.

"Emma are you alright in there?" he called out to her.

He could hear the sounds of her retching and worried, he jiggled the door knob to follow her in. Locked. He sighed. There was no better metaphor for his and Emma's relationship than a locked door it seemed at times. Even after 4 months following their time traveling misadventures, he still felt as if he was in a constant sword-fighting dance with her. Just when he thought he had her conquered, she would parry his advances with ease. But she was trying so hard.

For his birthday, she magic'ed up the Jolly Roger, or an exact replica of it anyway. Nobody knew if she had actually managed to retrieve his ship from another realm or if she just created a new one. Rumpelstiltskin believed the former and became giddy at the thought of the heretofore unknown power. Only she couldn't repeat the feat. Her attempts at retrieving Rumpel's old treasures he had left behind in the Enchanted Forest proved a comedy of errors. Testing her ability to recreate the objects were an abysmal failure too. Rumpel finally stomped off in a huff when Emma, out of frustration, "accidentally" transported his drawer of underwear to him. They had both dissolved in a fit of giggles while the imp huffed and puffed away, swearing never to teach Emma again. Her magic it seems was as erratic as she was.

For his part, he didn't give a fig about her abilities. Just the fact that she had been quite desperate to give him back the Jolly and had somehow discovered his birth date was enough. Of course she followed up that grand gesture by taking off for parts unknown for 4 days. Even Henry had been kept out of the loop to her whereabouts. He knew she wasn't ready to hear "I love you" but damn it, she can't do something like give him back the Jolly and expect him to remain stone cold.

He was fooled into thinking her heart was finally healed once and for all, when out of the blue, she presented him with a painting of Liam, that she had painted herself. It was on account of their "first year anniversary" when they had first met. He cried like a baby. He didn't even know she could paint! Or how she knew what Liam looked like.

Of course Emma being Emma, disaster followed. Unbelievably touched, he had dropped to his knees and was in the process of asking her to be his wife for all eternity when she freaked out and turned him into a kitten. A kitten! He was Captain Hook damn it! The least she could do was turn him into a fierce wolf. Or a sleek panther. But a kitten. To this day, Charming still sported a black eye for calling him Kitty Killy.

They had reached an impasse after that. Frustrated with her mercurial nature, he had given her an ultimatum. He was not going to sleep with her until she agreed to do the honorable thing and marry him. It had been an all out war ever since. And quite frankly he was close to his breaking point. The woman was a master at seduction! She made him, the infamous Captain Hook, grandest lover of the high seas, look like an amateur.

Determined not to break, he had taken to outright avoiding her. Their breakfast date at Granny's this morning was a compromise. She promised to behave herself for a few hours and her confession that she had missed him for the 2 days he was hiding out, or rather unavoidably busy, was too much for him to refuse. Things were going perfectly swell until Ruby brought out a feast of pancakes, eggs and bacon. 2 seconds later, face paling, she took off to the restroom and was now retching.

"Emma?"

The door creaked open and a wan faced Emma peeked out at him.

"Are you sick, lass? I'll go retrieve Whale." His brows furrowed with worry. In all the time he had known her, she had never been sick once.

Emma pitifully shook her head. "No, there's no need. I think I'm just coming down with the stomach flu or something."

He tenderly put his hand to her forehead. "Are you sure Emma? You're not warm but just to be safe, I think we should go see Whale."

Emma burrowed her face into his chest and shook her head. "Just take me home" she mumbled into his chest.

He frowned suspiciously and tipped her head up to meet his gaze. Was this an act to get him to her place where she could pounce on him? But the listless look in her eyes convinced him she really was feeling poorly.

"Ok lass, let's get out of here." They stopped by the table to gather their belongings when Ruby strutted up to them.

"Congratulations you love birds." Ruby was practically dancing with excitement.

They both frowned in confusion.

"What?" Emma asked.

"Emma's sick! What are you happy for Red?" Hook growled in question.

Ruby looked between the confused stares on both their faces and swallowed down her laughter. They didn't know. Yet.

Ruby looked at Emma and raised a single eyebrow. Emma looked back at her blankly for a couple of seconds then she sagged against Hook. If possible, her face got even paler.

She shoved away from Hook's comforting arms and he read the growing panic in her eyes. Just when he was about to ask her what was wrong, she turned and bolted out the door.

He made to follow her when Snow and Charming strolled in to Granny's blocking his way.

"Why was Emma in such a hurry?" Charming asked.

Snow beamed up at him. "I'm glad the war between you is finally over. Why I told Charming the other day, you two needed to stop behaving like children and grow up. After all, you're about to have one of your own."

"One what?" Charming asked his wife.

"You know already?" Ruby asked Snow.

She chose to answer Ruby first. "Of course. I'm her mother."

Charming butted in before Ruby could respond. "Know what? Will somebody let me know what's going on?"

Hook shoved his hand through his hair. All he wanted was to shove Charming out of the way and go after Emma. He didn't give a damn what Ruby, Snow or Charming knew or didn't know.

"Emma's pregnant!" Snow blurted out happily.

Ruby groaned.

Both Hook and Charming had similar dazed look on their faces.

"Pregnant?" Hook and Charming both whispered in shock at the same time.

"They didn't know!" Ruby hissed at Snow.

Snow's face dropped. "Ohhhh. Emma hasn't told Killian?"

Ruby shook her head. "Nope. And how could she. I don't think she knows either."

"Pregnant?" Hook was still in shock. He just couldn't wrap his mind around this.

Charming rounded on Hook and grabbed his lapels. "You got my daughter pregnant?" he asked in rage. "Before asking me for her hand in marriage? I'm going to kill you!" The last declaration he yelled at the top of his lungs.

"Now's not the time Charming. He didn't even know."

"I don't care that he didn't know. He still…..Emma, our baby" Charming sputtered incoherently.

Snow rolled her eyes. "You do realize she's a grown woman with a teen son already?"

The next words that came out of Hook's mouth stopped Snow and Charming dead in the middle of their argument.

"That's not possible. We haven't done it."

"What?" Snow, Charming and Ruby asked simultaneously.

"What do you mean we haven't done it?" Charming asked in confusion.

Hook shifted uncomfortably on his feet. "You know mate" he paused. "Emma and I haven't consummated our relationship yet. It's not possible she's pregnant."

"You haven't had sex with Emma?" Ruby asked incredulously. "How's that possible. The pheromones coming off you 2 is enough to knock me over whenever I stand anywhere near you."

Charming groaned. "Ruby!"

"What? It's true. I've smelled the sexual attraction between them since the beginning of time practically. It's so strong, there's no way they haven't done the dirty deed. It would've driven them crazy." She paused in thought. "On the other hand, maybe that's why they've been acting so crazy."

"Can we not discuss my daughter's sex life? And you smelling them Ruby? It's disturbing."

"Guys" Snow said in exasperation. "There's a bigger point here." She pointed at Hook, "if you say you and my daughter haven't…" she trailed off. "How is it possible she's pregnant?"

"Are you sure she's pregnant?" he asked in return. "She just thinks it's the stomach flu."

Snow looked at Ruby, who shook her head in the negative.

"I'm positive. At the risk of offending Charming, I could smell it. Unmistakable. At a guess I say about 4 months."

"And she has all the symptoms" Snow added.

"But if she's not pregnant with Hook" Charming said, leaving them all with the unspoken question of "who is she pregnant with?"

* * *

After hours of thinking on the Jolly, Hook arrived at Emma's place. He had come up with a plan on how to approach Emma. He didn't care whose kid it was, the fact that it was Emma's kid was all that mattered. He already loved Henry and would love the new baby too. If she was 4 months pregnant, then they weren't even together back then. What she did and with whom didn't matter to him. But it was still puzzling. Who could she have been with 4 months ago and when? Even though they were still fighting back then right before "Marty McFly" adventures, he was practically glued to her side. Not to mention with the fight with Zelena looming, when did she get a moment to herself?

Emma finally opened the door for him and they sat down on the couches facing one another.

Minutes ticked by in uncomfortable silence. He didn't how to begin and was hoping Emma would talk first.

Finally she whispered, "I'm pregnant Killian."

He nodded his head. "I know."

She looked up. "Wait how? I just found out a few hours ago myself."

"Your mom and Ruby let the cat out of the bag."

"Snow knows? Ruby too?" She groaned. Damn small town, fairy tale living. She wasn't even going to bother asking how they knew before she did. "Who else knows?" she muttered. "Winnie the Pooh? Mickey mouse? The whole damn fairy tale world?"

"Your father. He was there when Snow blurted it out."

Hook took a deep breath and prepared to give her his grand speech, declaring his love for her and the new baby and wanting to raise the kid with her.

But before he could, she of course stole his thunder again. "It's yours" she whispered.

"Beg your pardon?"

"The baby, it's yours."

"What baby?"

"The one I'm carrying of course!" she yelled out in frustration.

He looked down and pointed at her belly. "Baby…..mine? What? It can't be." He shook his head back and forth.

"We haven't…"

Emma squeezed her eyes shut briefly. She knew that one moment, that one moment she selfishly took for herself would come back to bite her in the ass. It always did. She never got away with anything.

She rubbed her stomach in a symbolic gesture before opening her eyes and looking straight at Hook.

"I guess I should say technically the baby is your past self's."

* * *

Next up: Flash to the past Hook/Emma but no smut! Sorry I suck at that stuff.


	2. Chapter 2

So I lied. This will be a 3-parter, not 2. It was getting to be way too long so I thought it best to cut it up.

* * *

"My past self" he parroted back at her dumbly. "What?"

"You know….when we fell down the time travel thingie?"

"Yes we went through Zelena's time travel spell" he repeated slowly.

Emma swallowed painfully, waiting for him to connect the dots himself without her having to spell it out. The blank look on Killian's face was killing her. She knew he was trying to make sense out of her stilted confession but how do you tell someone you went back in the past and had sex, hot sweaty earth-shattering sex, with his past self while still holding back from him in the present. It was crazy. She was crazy. The whole damn thing was crazy.

"Yeah, time travel portal. You, err past you, me, too much rum, a couple of hours to burn…." She looked at him. "Say something damn it."

He blinked. "You slept with him?"

She nodded.

"You slept with him?" he repeated. His voice increasing in volume and hysteria each time he repeated those 4 words. He stood up abruptly and stalked to the door.

"Wait Killian! Where are you going?"

He halted briefly with his hand on the door knob before letting go and turning around to face her. "I can't.." he struggled to find the words.

"Why are you so angry?"

He gave her a withering look. "You really can't figure out why I'm upset?"

"No." She paused and froze as a poisonous thought came to her. "Is it the baby?" she whispered shakily.

"No! Yes. No! Damn it Emma." He took a deep breath to calm his roiling emotions. "It's not about the baby. Not the way you're thinking. It's him! And you! Together."

She cocked her head in confusion. "But you're him."

"No I'm not!" He cut himself off at her confused look. How can she not get it?

"Wait a sec. Are you jealous of yourself?" she asked incredulously.

"Of course you don't understand. You never do" he said bitterly.

With one last look at her, he took off.

* * *

"What is that noise?" Belle asked Rumpel in their bed.

"Don't know, don't care. It's 2 in the morning. Whoever it is can go to hell. I don't even care if there's another crisis or creature in town."

"Rumpelstiltkin!" came the holler along with a series of unending banging on the door.

Rumpel groaned. He recognized that voice. With a flick of his hand, he made their house sound proof to shut Hook's annoying voice out.

"Rumpel" Belle drawled out.

"What?" he asked innocently.

"He sounds really troubled. Shouldn't you go see him?"

He looked down at Belle. "Odds are the pirate is having trouble with the Swan. He pretended to leer at Belle. "Unlike me of course, who knows how to keep a woman happy."

Belle laughed. "Go see what he wants. Emma might be in trouble."

Rumpel yanked the door open and glared at Hook. "You have one minute to tell me why are you yelling and banging on my door before I turn you into a kitten."

Hook let the mocking roll off his back. "I need your help to get my memories back."

"What memories? You were never part of any of the curses."

"The memories when Emma and I went back to the past and she met me. I want those memories back!"

Rumpel frowned. "She erased your memories?Why? What difference does it make? You 2 didn't change the future. That's all that matters."

"Actually we kind of did. She's pregnant."

"Who?"

"Emma!"

Rumpel paused, his mind already clicking the pieces into place. "You want to remember how your child with Emma was conceived is that it?"

Rumpel bursted out laughing. Oh this was good. This was even better than the time Emma accidentally turned the pirate into a kitten in response to his proposal, out of sheer panic. He didn't think he had ever laughed this hard before in his 300+ years of living.

Hook glared at him frigidly. "Are you finished."

Rumpel let out a final snort of laughter before inviting the pirate into his lair.

* * *

Killian staggered at the rush of images of the past rushed into his head.

_Past_

Emma scanned the ship deck furtively, looking for any signs of Snow or Killian but didn't notice anything amiss. Not that she was worried, she thought wryly, struggling to keep drunk Hook upright. The man wouldn't know up from down at this point and he was freaking heavy. She just hoped they wouldn't topple over into the water. With him decked out in heavy leather gear from head to toe, there was no way in hell she would able to save his butt from drowning.

Leaving Hook with Smee, Emma made her way down to the captain's quarters. All clear. Now she just had to figure out a way to leave Hook and go meet….Hook. They had set up a meeting place and time in the woods near Rumpel's castle.

Hearing Hook clumsily coming below Emma whirled around only to be grabbed him around the waist.

"I do hope you're not having second thoughts."

"No I just got tired of waiting."

Trying to help him keep his balance with weird swaying motions between them, she amusingly imagined this is what they would've looked like if they were kids having their first awkward dance together. On second thought she couldn't imagine Hook ever being awkward. He probably crawled out from his mother's womb wearing leather with a ton of attitude and swagger.

Suddenly he tripped over her feet and their legs got tangled as they fell backwards onto his bed.

"Ooof." Emma struggled to untangle them but it seemed like Hook turned into an octopus and any move she made only got them closer and more tangled.

"Lass stop moving" Hook slurred. For once she followed his orders and braced her hands on each side of his shoulders to lever herself up and away from him.

She almost laughed when she saw his adorably drunken grin.

It was too much for Emma to resist and so she leant down and captured his lips.

Coming up for air for a split second, she started tugging on his coat.

"Whoah, easy there."

Frustrated, Emma moved to his shirt and tried to yank it apart. "Why do you wear so many clothes? And why the hell are they so complicated" she whined.

He laughed and heaved himself up to a sitting position, taking her with him so that she straddled him.

Emma dropped her head to rest on his shoulders. That split second that their lips were separated was enough to let her regain her senses.

"Sweetheart?"

Emma sighed. "We can't do this" she mumbled.

As she moved to get off of him and the bed, his grip on her thighs tightened to stay her movements.

"No second thoughts remember?"

"You're drunk. I can't take advantage of you."

He guffawed. "A sweet little lass like you taking advantage of Captain Hook? Careful, insulting the captain of the ship comes with deadly consequences."

At her silence he added, "So you admit you were trying get me drunk on purpose?"

Emma's head snapped up and narrowed her eyes at him. "You're not drunk! You faker!" she exclaimed.

He grinned. "Did you seriously think those bottles of rum was enough? That was a pittance."

Growling in anger at being outwitted by him, she slammed her fist into his bicep.

"Ow! Stop lassie."

He wrestled with her for a few moments but was distracted by her heaving bosom.

"You should really stop while I'm still trying to be a gentleman darling" he told her while nodding his head towards her chest area.

Emma glanced down and let out a little yelp. She was practically falling out of her dress. Damn fairy tale clothes. Did this world have no conception of modesty? Or comfort for that matter? She tried to heave up the neckline.

Hook laughed. "Oh so now you're trying to cover up? What happened to the distract Captain Hook with my assets plan?" He smirked at her.

Emma glared at him. "So what now? Are you going to make me walk the plank?"

He sobered up, letting her see the usual face he presented to the world. "Few people have conspired against me and live to tell the tale. I'm going to give you 2 options. You can get up and leave now or….."

"Or?"

He looked at her lips. "Or." And then he kissed her.

Moving his head back, he waited for her answer.

Emma's mind was racing. "Get up and leave Emma!" she yelled at herself in her mind. There was a shit ton of stuff to get done and a million obstacles in her way before she could get back to her time. "You don't have time for this, you're the freaking savior."

"Screw it" she muttered and pushed his coat off his shoulders.

* * *

Emma exhaled. What had she done, she thought. She moved her head slightly from its resting position on his bare chest and gulped painfully. In repose, he looked so relaxed and peaceful. Innocent even.

Because she couldn't help herself, she lifted a finger and smoothed it tenderly over his eyebrows and then made herself get up and get dressed.

She sat down on the bed gingerly to put on her shoes and let out a squeak of surprise when she felt his hand tugging gently on her hair.

"Where do you think you are going?"

She looked at him over her shoulder but kept silent.

"So that's it? I don't even know your name."

At her continued silence he growled in frustration. "What? So does the beautiful swan turn back into an ugly duckling at night? Is that it?" he said sarcastically.

She cringed. If you only knew how accurate that was, she thought to herself. "I have to leave. This was…."

"What? A moment out of time, out of place?"

Emma laughed bitterly. "Exactly." Emma let her face soften and bent down to give him a kiss goodbye. "But it's my moment."

She then nailed him with a right hook to knock him out. Breathing in deeply with regret, she removed a small sachet from her pockets. Rumpel had given her a memory forgetting powder for emergencies because as he put it, she was "bound to mess things up again." And wasn't that the truth. But this time at least, the only thing or rather person that was getting screwed over was herself and she had no one to blame. She wasn't sure how much the powder would erase but she hoped it was enough to cover a couple of hours.

Before she had anymore time to ruminate, she heard someone clamoring down the steps and quickly hid her hand with the pouch behind her back.

"Killian!"

"Damn it Swan. What's taking you so long? I waited for you for hours. I was worried." He looked at her suspiciously and took a quick survey of the room.

"Why? I was with you. Or him to be exact" she said nodding towards the bed where his past self laid.

"That's why I was worried! Let's just get out of here."

"Wait, what about him?"

Killian glanced over at himself. "He's drunk. Won't remember a thing. Now let's go."

Emma paused letting Killian go up before stepping back to Hook. She smiled sadly to herself.

She leaned over his body and whispered, "I love you."

Emma blew the memory forgetting dust into his face.

* * *

Note: So Emma's ILY might be OOC but hopefully the explanation behind that will be convincing enough. Next up, Hook with his memories and Emma's confrontation.


	3. Chapter 3

Emma gingerly opened the door to Hook's room on the Jolly and was immediately hit with a waft of strong alcoholic smell.

"Killian?"

Her illustrious baby daddy was splayed out on his bed holding a bottle of rum, stinking drunk. "Oh look who it is. Swan! The mother of my child" he drawled.

She crossed her arms in annoyance before pivoting around to leave. There was no use talking to him like this.

As she moved to leave he stopped her in her tracks with his words.

"Yes leave, Emma. Like you always do."

"What else do you expect me to do?" she cried. "I tell you I'm pregnant and you rush off and get as drunk as a skunk. So yes I'm leaving. But I'll tell you one thing, this time I'm not leaving this baby. It's mine and I don't give a damn that you're not happy about it. I don't need you. The baby doesn't need you" she said in anger, hurt at his accusation that she was always leaving. But deep down she knew he was right. You couldn't be hurt if you left before they had a chance to leave you first after all.

She wrenched the door open without realizing Killian had rushed up behind her to slam the door shut.

"Do not accuse me of not caring about our baby" he breathed angrily into her ear.

She turned around in the cage of his arms he had formed around her and stared at him mutinously. "I'm not discussing anything with you while you're drunk."

He grinned but without any amusement. Tilting his head to indicate the empty bottles littering his desk, "do you seriously think those bottles of rum was enough to intoxicate me? That was a pittance." He paused to let that sink in before continuing, "you should know that better than anyone lassie."

Emma froze and searched his eyes. "You remembered?" she whispered.

He nodded his head in confirmation. She shoved him forcefully away from her before turning to pick up the nearest empty bottle and threw it at his head. Good thing he wasn't drunk and still had lightning fast reflexes.

"What is wrong with you? You don't get to be the mad one here, Emma."

She responded by pitching another bottle at him. "Damn you Killian. You were never supposed to remember. That was my moment. Mine! Alone! Not yours!" she emphasized.

He stared at her as if she had lost her ever loving mind. Was this, how had Charming phrased it? Crazy pregnancy hormones? He remembered Charming whining about how crazy Snow could get while pregnant.

"Alone? Beg your pardon milady, but I believe there were 2 people in that room. You surely couldn't have done that alone" he said while gesturing with his hook towards her belly. Killian cocked his head to the side, the images of them playing vividly through his mind.

Emma paused. "Are you blushing?" she asked forgetting her anger for a moment.

And right on cue, he could feel his cheeks getting warm. Damn the woman. How could she do this to him right now, when he was still very angry? But the things they had done. He knew she could be quite creative. And inventive. And giving, very giving.

He shook his head to clear his mind. He couldn't believe this, but their coupling was not the most important thing right now.

"You're not going to turn the tables on me Emma. I'm the only one that gets to be mad here."

"If you're really happy about the baby, then why are you so angry?"

"Because you slept with him! You trusted him! You shared yourself with him while keeping me at arm's length."

"You're nuts. You're speaking as if that wasn't you." Giving him a dirty look, she said "besides, I wasn't the one holding sex hostage."

"It's not! I'm not that guy. Not anymore. Damn it Emma. That man used you. He could've, would have killed you without any remorse. He wasn't worthy of you."

Emma dropped down in a chair, finally realizing what this was all about. "You don't like your past very much do you?"

He turned away from her, never meaning to blurt out what he just did.

"What does worthy even mean anyway? We're exactly the same."

He waved her statements away. "If I'm still the same person, then why were you so open with him, while pushing me away at every turn? Was it the danger? Was that the attraction?"

"No. Damn it, I was never scared of you. Not in that way. Past or present. Think Killian, you say you have the memories of that night back, did you have murderous thoughts towards me then?"

He hesitated. He had never thought of it that way before.

"Were you using me? Why did you let me go? You gave me a choice. You knew I was plotting something and you were going to let me walk out free and clear. Why?"

And then it dawned on him. "Like I told you before, it was what our kiss exposed. Until I met you."

She blushed at that reminder. "So we've settled this right?" she asked tentatively, not entirely sure they were.

"Actually no darling. We have a whole host of issues to muddle through first, starting with why you gave yourself to him. If you see us as the same, then how come you keep pushing me away?"

"It was just sex" she muttered.

"Is that so?" he challenged, raising an eyebrow. "Liar. If that's the case then why did you tell him, I love you?"

Emma stiffened in shock. "How do you know that? You were knocked out!"

"I was actually coming to, before you blew that imp's dark magic in my face."

Emma got up and headed towards the door. That was the one thing they were not going to discuss. But he grabbed by her waist and carried her over to the bed.

"Oh no you don't. You're not going anywhere till you answer my question."

"I'd like to see you try and stop me" she said wriggling in his arms. "We both know I can knock you out."

She felt a metal band go around her wrist and he pulled both their arms up to show her that he had cuffed them together.

"I guess it's finally my turn to tie you up. And don't bother trying to get out of them." He tapped the cuffs with his his hook, the metal clinking together making an ominous sound to Emma. "The Dark One enchanted them so that only I could unlock it with a spell."

Emma glared at him. "Fine, we stay here, locked together. How long are you going to last before you have to use the restroom, after downing all that rum? I'm not going to help you take off your pants either!"

"Why not? You did back then, on that very memorable night. On this very ship and bed I might add" he said cheekily.

Not having a comeback, Emma stuck her tongue out at him and turned away as much as she could with the handcuffs.

"So now we're going to be childish?" Hook wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I don't understand it. You declared your affections for that Hook quite easily and yet you've kept those words from me. You knew him for a couple of hours!"

"You keep trying to separate them but to me he was you. That night might've been our first meeting for you, but it wasn't for me. All that stuff, we went through together, the stuff you did for me was in your future, but it was my past. "

"That's because I've changed. Because of you. For you."

"I never asked you to change Killian. I don't want you to change."

"I know. But I wanted to. I wanted to be wor"

She stopped him by clamping her free hand over his mouth. "Not this again."

"I know what you said, sweetheart but you're the"

Her fierce glare at him stopped him mid-sentence. "Don't you dare say it."

"I wasn't going to say the s word" he told her witheringly.

"Well then what?"

"You misunderstood what I meant by worth. I wanted to be the man you trusted to never leave you. The man you never wanted to leave. I want to give you what you never had, Emma. And that man wasn't the one in the past. That man only had one thing on his mind, revenge. He wasn't capable of giving you those things. Not back then."

"Oh" was all she could say. She was trying to hold back her tears. Damn pregnancy hormones.

"Yes oh" he mocked her gently.

"Now your turn."

"For?"

"Don't pretend that you forgot my earlier question." He jiggled their cuffed hands for emphasis. He sighed. Stubborn to the end, his swan. "Fine, let's start easier shall we? Why were you so upset I gained my memories back. They weren't yours alone, lass."

"Yes they were" she childishly snapped.

"Did you not mean it?"

"No. Yes. No. I don't know." She was frustrated at herself for not being able or wanting to explain. She hated being vulnerable and backed into a corner. Only Killian was the person able to make her feel this way, like she wanted to run away and never look back. At the same time she wanted to cuff him to her and make sure he wouldn't have the ability to leave even if he wanted to.

"You don't get it. For that one moment, I was able to pretend I wasn't her. The orphan, the kid no one wanted, the thief living on the streets, the pregnant girl abandoned to jail, the girl that walked away from her baby, Snow White and Prince Charming's daughter. The savior. I wanted to be carefree and just live without worrying about consequences or getting hurt."

She swallowed back her tears. "I didn't want to be her. Just for that one night, with you. I don't like her" she finished painfully.

"And you didn't want me to remember because…"

"Because it was mine! Sharing it with you meant that woman was now Emma. She's not nameless, baggage-less anymore. Those words didn't come attached with my past or my fears. They were untainted. It was supposed to be my one memory of my happy ever after" she finished miserably. She turned around and poked his chest angrily. "You stole my moment!"

And he finally understood. The word love for her was intertwined so intimately with the complicated pains of the past. But with his past self, for one night, their story had a beginning, middle and end that was pure and free. For one moment in time, her love was untouched by the interwoven strands of ecstasy and agony that was reality.

He caught sight of their reflections in the mirror. "We're the same aren't we" he repeated her earlier words.

Catching his eye in the mirror, "I like you, you know. Your past you. Without that man, you wouldn't have been able to give me what you've already have. Without that pirate bent on revenge for 300 years, all the things you've given me, the things you've said, would be without meaning."

He placed a gentle kiss on her neck. "You know I'm supposed to be the one making the grand declarations. The romantic and dashing pirate, charming the damsel until she succumbs at his feet."

Emma snorted. "Puh-lease. You're all talk, no action. If I waited around for you, I'd probably die first as the crazy old lady living with 15 cats."

"Excuse you? And when did you become the lady of action between the 2 of us? If I waited for you to come around I'd be a rotting corpse tied to a tree and you would be having erotic dreams of my handsome self with no way to fulfill them. "

"I initiated our first kiss. Both times" she added as an afterthought. "Actually I always kiss you first come to think of it."

"I keep coming back for you, even after you kept tying me up!"

"I saved you at the Dark Hollow and from drowning in a tub!."

"I saved you from marrying that rabid monkey."

Emma frowned. "Really? You're going to bring that one up?"

"Fine. I confessed to feelings first at the Echo cave. And I declared my honorable intentions to win your heart first."

"And? I wanted to have sex with you first and I told you I lo…" she stopped abruptly.

Hook grinned. "Are you going to finish that? What did you tell me first?"

"No." Her face remained adorably stubborn.

"Emma."

"No."

Getting serious, she turned around and stared into his eyes. "I want our baby. I'm desperately scared but I want a new ending. One with him or her, and one with your memories intact."

Hook smiled tenderly at her. He understood completely what she was telling him. He toppled them both backwards onto the bed.

"In that case, let's improve my fuzzy memories and make new ones shall we?"


End file.
